Loose Canons Ep. 35 The Masque of the Red Death

Loose Canons Ep. 35 The Masque of the Red Death

This time, we run over babies in our carriages without a care in the world.

Loose Canons Ep. 34 The Slumber Party Massacre

Loose Canons Ep. 34 The Slumber Party Massacre

This time we order pizza, paint each other's nails, and talk about boys.

Loose Canons Ep. 33 Friday the 13th

Loose Canons Ep. 33 Friday the 13th

In this episode, we get slowly killed off one by one, and at the end the real murderer is A First Person Camera Operator!

00:00:36 Another spooky podcast! Someone’s getting murdered!
00:01:00 More jokes! Sorry, Flubber.
00:01:49 We’re actually discussing Friday the 13th. Reuben details the plot. Spoilers! Obviously.
00:03:19 The unintended twist ending of Friday the 13th.
00:04:10 Patrick (hated it), Basil (liked it more than expected but still didn’t like it), Ilya (also liked it more than he thought he would), Reuben (didn’t love it)
00:09:13 Basil was surprised by how much he liked the look, especially second unit. There was a discreet sense of place. Empty and desolate.
00:09:51 Ilya notes that the movie includes things that most movies don’t. Patrick says it’s called “shoe leather”
00:10:55 Basil thinks there’s a lot of shots you wouldn’t get in a horror movie. Basil and Reuben both describe one.
00:12:10 Goofy guy or racist guy? Patrick doesn’t like the humor, was embarrassed by it.
00:13:50 The cop doesn’t like weird stuff, and Basil is reminded of the cop in Cabin Fever.
00:14:57 Patrick’s biggest problem: a lack of tension because he didn’t care about any of the characters, but Ilya felt involved without caring about the characters.
00:15:45 Basil appreciates that the characters care about each other unlike in a lot of slasher movies. The characters are pretty sex positive too. Strip monopoly!
00:17:23 One of Basil’s favorite parts is that you think Annie is gonna be the protagonist (she isn’t). No clear character that’s special over the others. Patrick still doesn’t care though. Patrick doesn’t enjoy watching people die, and they die in unsurprising ways.
00:19:27 Reuben reads a review from letterboxd.
00:21:20 Basil doesn’t know why he used to hate this movie.
00:21:50 Patrick thinks the ending is really dumb, and on that point, he and Basil agree.
00:23:04 The unrealism of killers in horror movies.
00:23:45 Mrs. Voorhees cast for her big hands? Man pants.
00:24:23 Ilya suggests the movie’s plot was made up on the fly. The non existence of Jason until the end also suggests this.
00:25:27 Or is this a weird call back to Psycho? Reverse Psycho ending! Ripping off Halloween as well.
00:27:39 What’s amusing about this movie isn’t intentionally amusing. Reuben doesn’t worry about intent though.
00:29:08 The acting’s not good, but it all seems to be on a similar wavelength, so it still works.
00:29:50 Patrick didn’t like the music either. Which sounded a lot like Psycho. Angelo Badalamenti ripped this off for Twin Peaks?
00:31:09 Ilya liked the lack of allegory. No creepy country people, no stupid teenagers, really.
00:31:42 People say this movie is anti-sex, but then you’re aligning yourself with the crazy killer woman.
00:31:58 Patrick doesn’t think it’s anti-sex or anti anything really. This is just a movie that panders to audiences in his opinion. Reuben doesn’t disagree, but it doesn’t bother him much.
00:33:50 Patrick didn’t like the rope scene, but Basil and Ilya did.
00:36:00 Ilya liked how things shifted and changed. The Kevin Bacon death was truly gruesome. The setup of the shot doesn’t hint at his end.
00:37:58 Basil also found the girl in the bathroom scene well lit because modern lighting and processing is so lazy.
00:38:40 Kevin Bacon is not special in anyway. Is this the followup to Footloose?
00:38:52 How did they get to Jason though?
00:40:35 Jason with a burlap sack over his head is a super creepy idea.
00:41:28 Gene Siskel intentionally spoiled the movie and said they should send complaints to Betsy Palmer.
00:42:48 Googling portion.
00:43:50 Horror sequels, not intentional back then
00:44:59 Reuben thinks we’re wrapping up, but we’re not.
00:45:20 The ending is deus ex machina for the villain.
00:46:20 What happened to Mr. Voorhees? We get deep into all the possibilities.
00:47:24 Decapitation is cray-ay-zee. Also, every 80s effect in one shot!
00:48:19 The snake scene was cool: over the top scared and then weirdly sad. Reuben is sad about the snake. But it plays into the themes maybe?
00:51:15 Reuben liked the characters’ unawareness of being in a horror movie. Every one continued in a normal way until the last couple people.
00:53:44 Aping Texas Chainsaw Murder too!
00:54:48 Nothing about crazy Southerners though. Ilya likes the lack of a “moral” in a way.
00:55:40 The stupid old people from the 50s did ruin our lives though.
00:56:02 Patrick and Basil had opposite feelings on Texas Chainsaw Massacre as well. Not fucked up enough?
00:57:12 We found one thing Patrick liked. We push back on Patrick for hating it even though no one loved it.
01:00:20 Reuben hates Halloween. Famously.
01:01:20 Start of a downward trend? But Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Halloween that’s true for as well. John Carpenter was real good. And we like Dark Star.
01:03:15 We wonder if Charles Burnett was graded properly.
01:03:40 Dudes without shirts, we approve. Sleepaway Camp. Cabin Fever.
01:04:46 Ilya is up late.
01:06:30 Sign off

Loose Canons Ep. 32 The Blood Spattered Bride

Loose Canons Ep. 32 The Blood Spattered Bride

This time, we dust off those creepy old portraits with the faces cut out of them that have been hiding in our cellar and get out our snorkels.

00:00-01:15 Podcast is off to a great start!
01:15-02:00 It’s horror-theme month here at LC, once again
02:00-04:20 Brief Plot Recap: Patrick
04:20-12:00 Liked It (Everyone), Disliked it (Noone)
12:00-12:30 “He’s got a panty on his head!”
12:30-13:00 Creepy red finger jam gets Patrick into it
13:00-13:40 Opening shot freaked Basil out
13:40-14:30 Reuben thought the framing was unique (esp. in contrast to modern horror)
14:30-15:30 Hair pulling scene looked super painful
15:30-16:00 Pigeon scene also looked super uncomfortable
16:00-17:10 Real on-screen animal death reminiscent to Rules of the Game
17:10-18:10 How come the couple quasi surrendered in the end?
18:10-18:40 Patrick sees ending as reversal of family history (women as murderers, men as martyrs)
18:40-19:30 Reuben also sees reversal in media coverage (headlines for men vs. women)
19:30-20:10 Basil thinks it’s mind-blowing that this was made during Franco’s reign
20:10-21:00 Movie as fatalistic allegory on the futility of resistance against a fascist, patriarchal regime
21:00-22:00 Ilya sees ending as being unambiguously shot in a way that would make the husband look like a fascist murderer
22:00-22:40 Ever the prude psychopath, the husband has to close the coffin before he shoots the women inside
22:40-23:10 Lots of cool shots in this movie
23:10-23:50 Lots of good tag-teaming also!
23:50-26:00 The character who stubbornly insists creepy horror happenings are just a coincidence is an annoying horror-movie trope
26:00-27:30 Is Carmilla the ancestor? 
27:30-28:40 “Diabetes is the official disease of ‘no one tells me what to do!’”
28:40-30:00 More cool shots: Carmilla walks through the series of doorways, Susan wears the same dress
30:00-30:20 Vertigo-esque things
30:20-31:50 Women in this movie get to do fun and weird shit, while the men are boring spoilsports
31:50-32:30 Super-racist statue!
32:30-35:40 Discussion of the caretaker lady role
35:40-37:00 Honeymoon Hotel
37:00-38:00 Just your average, everyday choking
38:00-40:00 Not a lot of super gory parts in this movie compared to a lot of Euro-Horror
40:00-41:20 Husband kind of felt bad about breaking that door (not as much about assaulting his wife)
41:20-42:40 Basil thinks the movie is a series of ways men try to rationalize why women would possibly have anything against them
42:40-44:00 Shout-out to Billy and his favorites list!
44:00-44:30 Everyone laughs at image Reuben posted!
44:30-45:00 Shout-out to Talking ‘bout Practice!
45:00-46:00 Reuben usually hates psychiatry being depicted this way, but it made sense here
46:00-47:00 Vicente Aranda seems like one of the few Euro-Horror dudes who doesn’t hate women!
47:00-48:30 If you like us, give us 5 stars! (And if not, you’re CRAAAAAAAAAAZY!)
48:30-50:10 OUTTAKES: In which we make fun of 9/11 and Ilya eats chips!